I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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