she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
