Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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