You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
