I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
