No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
