Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
foreskin is a definite game changer
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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