We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
nutella sex= disaster
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
