he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize