You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
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You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
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I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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