I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
