that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
