Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
