So drunk, too bad you don't want this
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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