after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
