When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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