Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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