I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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