youre lurking in front of me
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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