She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Come share oat with me in your robe
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize