I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
