I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
