She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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