those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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