I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
