i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize