using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
