I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
