i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Rumble strips road head = magical
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
