i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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