Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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