Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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