I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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