If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
why do cheetos always look like penises
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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