Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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