I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
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