plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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