guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
handjob tips. give me some.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
