Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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