I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
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The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
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MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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