I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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