you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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