Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Ladies don't puke and tell
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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