it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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