Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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