I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize