I wish you could order shots online.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize