The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
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I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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