so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
