I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
