I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
pop tarts are not kleenex
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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