he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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