Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
