She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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